Why is it that some people can be full of confidence, whilst others suffer from self-doubt and social anxiety? You might think it was an event in your life that knocked your confidence or perhaps that it's to do with the way that you were brought up (I know I used to say that when I lost my confidence), but I'm afraid you've got it all wrong.
It's not the events of one’s life that causes us to lose confidence, after all if that were true everybody who has ever had a rejection or setback would never be able to pick themselves up and try again. It's what we say to ourselves and how we choose (on an unconscious level) to see the situation.
Let's use a job application as an example. Imagine two people go for a job; however neither of them gets it. The first person decides, "I'm not good enough, there's no point in applying for further jobs as there will always be somebody better than me, and besides, these jobs always go to an internal candidate anyway." The second says, "Ok, this has been a great learning experience and now I am on the radar of the boss of this company. I'd still really like to work there in the future, so I'll ask the boss for some feedback on what she'd like me to improve on so I can be ready to get the next position that becomes available."
Both people had the same experience, yet they interpreted it entirely differently. Now imagine that you see all of life's setbacks that way. It doesn't take long before you are either super relaxed in any situation or your confidence is shattered!
The problem is, if you take the negative approach the part of your mind that is responsible for storing your behavioural patterns and learnt experiences (the hippocampus) will red flag any potential future opportunities as a threat to your safety or wellbeing and encourage you to avoid it. And even if you do manage to override that warning, you would most likely be very nervous about the situation.
I live by a saying (though I have to admit that for much of my life I didn't) 'There is no such thing as failure, only feedback.'
Imagine that you saw all of life's hardships as challenges that you could learn from, how much would you be able to achieve?
Here is what one lady that I helped to regain her confidence had to say about her experience.
Through Hypnotherapy and NLP we can turn your mindset around and get you not only feeling confident again, but also get you to recognise your goals and take thought out action towards them, so that you achieve them.
Get in touch now to book a free consultation to see how I could help you.
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